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5 Tips for Separated Families During the Holiday Season

These practical tips can help separated families navigate shared holidays to create positive memorable experiences.

Our legal team put together a list of 5 tips for parents during the holiday season to ensure that the best interests of their children remain at the forefront.

1. Focus on Children’s Well-being:

Nothing is more important than your children! Try to avoid any last minute changes or conflicts that may cause stress or disappointment for the kids. Making sure that you respect your children’s wishes and feelings and being flexible and cooperative with your ex-spouse will ensure that your children will have positive memories. Remember that holidays are not a competition. Focus on your children and make the most out of the time you have with them.

2. Open Communication and Cooperation:

One positive tip for separated parents at Christmas is to prioritize open communication and cooperation. Ensure that you discuss and plan the holiday schedule well in advance, taking into consideration the children’s wishes and needs. This proactive approach can help create a more stable and stress-free holiday season for everyone involved. By fostering a cooperative and amicable atmosphere, you can demonstrate to your children that, even though the family dynamic has changed, the spirit of togetherness and love can still be maintained during special occasions like Christmas.

3. Multiplying Holiday Experiences:

Don’t Divide the Holidays! Children of separated parents are often considered disadvantaged to those whose parents have remained together. However, this is certainly not always the case and one excellent example is Christmas and other holidays. In the comedy “Four Christmases,” Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon dramatize the exponential Christmas experiences separated households can bring in hilarious fashion. In reality, often parents try to divide one day rather than multiplying them across several days of holidays. Few would disagree with the statement that “Christmas is for the kids.” Sure, adults enjoy the nostalgia, gatherings and festivities, but when faced with an opportunity to make Christmas better for their children, few parents would hesitate.

Separated parents have an opportunity to multiply the holidays. After all, what kid would object to two or more Christmas mornings? One with mom and one with dad. Who cares if one is on December 25 and the other is on December 27 (or whatever other day can be agreed upon)? Dividing the holidays this way ensures kids are not hurriedly exchanged between houses and have a relaxed experience playing with the toys (or boxes) they get in each parents’ house.

4. Flexibility in Planning:

Parenting and dealing with family over the holidays is stressful enough as it is, and it can be even more so where parents are separated and the children have to split up their holidays. One useful tip for parents trying to navigate the holidays when separated is to plan. By plan, this means everything from where the children to be to when is family supper.

However, something that is important when trying to navigate the holidays is to plan the right way. Keep your schedule simple and flexible. There can be the urge to over-plan, to prearrange every second of the holidays so that the days are filled with fun and memories, but making your plan too rigid and stuffed can make it so that if anything goes wrong, it can upset your meticulously made plans. On the other hand, not planning enough makes it so you don’t get the holiday that you wanted by potentially missing events you wanted to fit in. Instead, focus on planning the main events and necessities of the holidays, such as dinner, gift exchange, and parties, while leaving plenty of spare hours for free time and leisure. By having a flexible but structured plan in place, you’re ready to handle the frustrations of the holidays while being able to enjoy the highlights as much as the entire family can.

5. Acknowledgment of the Changed Family Dynamic:

Importantly, children are not oblivious to your situation. They know something is going on and they will wonder why mom and dad are not celebrating with them together. Explain the situation to them gently and honestly while considering their age. Encourage open discussions and always be ready to listen to them and their concerns. Being attentive and being present for them when they need you will create a strong support system they can always rely on. To children, nothing is more important to them than knowing mom and dad are there for them when they need it the most.

In summary, for separated parents navigating the holidays, prioritizing children’s well-being, fostering open communication, and encouraging cooperation are crucial. Multiplying holiday experiences by allowing children to celebrate with both parents adds richness to the season. Balancing planning with flexibility ensures a joyful, stress-free experience, while acknowledging the changed family dynamic with sensitivity fosters open discussions and emotional support for children. By embracing these principles, separated parents can turn holiday challenges into opportunities for connection, understanding, and shared joy.

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5 Tips for Separated Families During the Holiday Season

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