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Reality Check: What The Valley Gets Right (and Wrong) About Co-Parenting, Addiction, and Moving On

the valley

By Melissa Steele

Welcome to the first post in my new blog series exploring the real-life legal and emotional issues behind the drama on Bravo’s The Valley. As a family lawyer in Saskatchewan, I watch this show a little differently than most—I see the custody conflicts behind the cocktails, the parenting issues buried in the passive aggression, and the legal red flags peeking out between the champagne toasts.

This week’s episode was, in a word, messy. And while it’s easy to laugh off the chaos, a lot of what played out on screen reflects the very real challenges people face when relationships end and families begin to restructure. Let’s unpack a few key moments from the episode, along with the legal realities behind them.

Addiction, Recovery, and the Best Interests of the Child

Jax is entering a treatment program for substance use. As Brittany tries to navigate parenting during his absence, she confides in friends that she’s considering filing for sole custody if he doesn’t complete his program.

Substance use and mental health issues are common factors in family breakdowns and custody disputes. In Saskatchewan (as in all of Canada), the legal test for parenting arrangements is always what is in the best interests of the child, not what is easiest or most desirable for either parent. If one parent is struggling with addiction, the Court may order safeguards such as supervised parenting time, regular drug testing, or abstinence clauses—but the goal is to support recovery, not punish illness.

Threatening to pursue sole custody as a way to pressure someone into treatment can be seen as manipulative and contrary to the child’s best interests. Family law judges don’t take kindly to litigation tactics that appear punitive or controlling. Instead, they’re looking for evidence that both parents are trying to ensure the child has a stable, healthy relationship with each parent—when safe and appropriate.

Don’t Talk About Adult Issues in Front of the Kids

One scene that made me cringe was Brittany casually discussing Jax’s treatment plan in front of their young son, Cruz. This happens more often than it should in real life, too.

If there’s one golden rule in co-parenting, it’s this: shield your child from adult problems. Talking about substance use, court proceedings, or any conflict between parents in front of your child can be emotionally damaging and may even influence future court decisions. Judges look for signs that each parent is fostering the child’s relationship with the other parent—not undermining it. That includes keeping adult conversations out of earshot.

Introducing New Partners: Proceed With Caution

Michelle has moved on and introduced her new partner to her child. Jesse, meanwhile, is questioning whether that relationship started before their breakup.

This is a common scenario in post-separation parenting. While Saskatchewan law doesn’t dictate when or how you can introduce a new partner to your child, doing so too soon can lead to confusion, insecurity, and unnecessary tension—especially if the relationship is short-lived.

My general advice? Wait until the relationship is stable and serious, and when you do make introductions, ensure the child is prepared and the other parent is informed. Surprises rarely go over well, and cooperation between co-parents usually benefits everyone involved—especially the child.

As for suspicions of infidelity: while that may matter emotionally, it generally has no legal bearing on parenting or property division unless it directly impacts the children. The focus remains on parenting capacity, not romantic history.

Don’t Put Friends in the Middle

Michelle and Jesse are still tangled up in the same friend group, with Michelle even asking friends to vote on who should stay in a shared vacation house. Let me say this plainly: don’t make your friends choose sides.

When you break up, and especially when you’re co-parenting, it’s important to set emotional boundaries. That might mean creating some distance from mutual friends, attending different social events, or simply agreeing not to involve friends in your disagreements. Your social circle is not a jury, and dragging them into your conflict only adds fuel to the fire.

Co-Parenting with Ego and Emotion

Michelle also says she wants to “be divorced and never speak to Jesse again.” That might sound appealing in the heat of the moment—but if you have a child together, it’s not realistic. Co-parenting requires communication, collaboration, and sometimes a lot of patience. You don’t have to like each other, but you do have to find a way to cooperate.

Michelle also believes Jesse is acting out of ego, trying to provoke her because she ended the relationship. I hear this all the time from clients—and while it might be true, your energy is better spent focusing on what you can control. You don’t need to win the breakup. You need to protect your peace, your child’s stability, and your own mental health.

Some practical strategies I often recommend:

  • Keep communication brief, business-like, and focused on parenting.
  • Use a co-parenting app to manage messages and calendars.
  • Avoid emotional engagement—silence can be more powerful than a rebuttal.
  • Work with a therapist or counselor to process what’s happening and stay grounded.

Final Thoughts: Reality TV, Real-Life Lessons

Finally—just don’t accuse your co-parent of sleeping with a billionaire for $1,500 a night. That goes for real life and reality TV.

These dynamics may make for compelling TV, but in real life, they often result in lengthy litigation, fractured relationships, and kids caught in the crossfire. The truth is, family law isn’t about winning or losing—it’s about creating a stable future for everyone involved, especially children.

Next week, we’ll dive into more Valley drama and the legal lessons hiding just beneath the surface. Until then, if you take away anything from this week’s episode, let it be this: choose your co-parent carefully, protect your child from adult drama, and protect your own peace at all costs.

Disclaimer: these posts are intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to provide legal advice. If you need legal advice, PLEASE consult a lawyer! Even better, book with us 🙂

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Reality Check: What The Valley Gets Right (and Wrong) About Co-Parenting, Addiction, and Moving On

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