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“The Valley”: Rage Texts, New Relationships, and Finding Peace in Family Transitions

The Valley

Welcome back to my weekly blog series, where I break down The Valley through the lens of family law in Saskatchewan. This week’s episode took the group to beautiful Santa Barbara—but beneath the palm trees and ocean views, we saw a lot of emotional turbulence, especially for couples navigating breakups, parenting struggles, and life transitions.

While it might just look like dramatic reality TV, so much of what we saw this week mirrors the real issues I hear from clients every day. Let’s dive into the key moments and talk about the legal and emotional lessons underneath the surface.

Rage Texting Isn’t Just Unhelpful—It’s Evidence

This episode showed Jax rage texting Brittany—a flurry of emotionally charged messages that included phrases like “you took my son from me” and “disgusting.”

If you take one thing from this post, let it be this: don’t rage text your co-parent. All text messages, DMs, emails, and other written communications between separated partners can be used in court. In fact, they often are.

In Saskatchewan family law, a judge will review parenting disputes through the lens of the best interests of the child. If one parent is consistently aggressive, disrespectful, or emotionally harmful in their communications, that can significantly affect how a court views their ability to co-parent effectively. In some cases, if one parent is clearly the source of conflict, the court may award primary parenting time or decision-making authority to the other parent in order to provide more stability for the child.

If you’re in the middle of a separation or co-parenting struggle, pause before you send that angry message. Take a deep breath, talk to a friend, or write the message in your Notes app—but don’t hit send unless your communication is respectful, focused on parenting, and necessary.

Protecting Your Peace: Group Trips With Your Ex? Think Twice.

Michelle and Jesse are on a group trip together post-breakup, and it’s about as uncomfortable as you’d expect. While every co-parenting dynamic is different, this situation reinforces an important message: you are allowed to protect your peace.

You don’t have to go on group trips or attend joint social events if they’re going to cause you stress or trigger conflict. Especially early in a separation, when emotions are raw, it’s often best to give each other space and focus on your own healing. Maintaining unnecessary contact can escalate tension, confuse your child, and make co-parenting harder, not easier.

New Relationships After Separation: Boundaries, Please

Michelle spent part of the episode commenting on Jesse’s new relationship—including some pretty bold claims about his girlfriend’s dating history. Here’s the legal reality: what your ex does after separation generally isn’t your business—unless it directly impacts the safety or well-being of your child.

That means you should resist the temptation to gossip about your ex’s new partner, especially in front of mutual friends or your child. Courts don’t want to see one parent trying to undermine the other’s relationships. In fact, negative commentary can reflect poorly on your own ability to support your child’s relationship with their other parent, which is a key factor in parenting decisions.

Pregnancy Struggles: A Glimpse Into a Private Pain

This episode also touched on Kristen and Luke’s struggles with fertility—a deeply personal and emotional topic for many couples. While this isn’t a legal issue, it’s a reminder that every family comes with its own set of challenges, and grief and disappointment don’t disappear just because you’re on a reality show (or in the middle of a family law matter).

If you’re dealing with fertility struggles during a relationship transition, know that your feelings are valid. Seek support, whether from professionals, friends, or others who’ve gone through the same thing. These experiences are hard, and you deserve compassion as you navigate them.

Starting Fresh, With Stress and Anxiety Along for the Ride

Michelle opened up about her stress and anxiety as she tries to build a new life, saying she’s searching for happiness after a difficult split. This was one of the most relatable parts of the episode for me—because I hear the exact same thing from clients all the time.

Ending a relationship, especially one involving children or shared history, is incredibly emotional. You may feel grief, relief, guilt, fear, or all of the above. Starting over is hard, even when it’s the right decision. Just remember: healing isn’t linear, and you don’t have to have it all figured out at once.

Give yourself permission to move slowly. Take steps to rebuild your support system. And if you’re struggling with anxiety or mental health challenges, know that seeking professional support is a strength, not a weakness.

Expectations, Disappointment, and the Breakdown of a Marriage

We also saw Jax recording video diaries from rehab, talking about the expectations he had for his marriage and how Brittany wasn’t fulfilling them. This narrative—“you didn’t meet my expectations, so I’m hurt”—is one I hear often from clients.

In family law, unmet expectations are a very human part of separation. But here’s the thing: when a relationship ends, the person you hurt doesn’t owe you emotional support anymore. One of the hardest parts of separation is learning that closure and validation might not come from the person you want it from.

Let go of the idea that your ex has to make you feel better about the breakup. Focus instead on your own recovery, your own goals, and your child’s well-being.

Coercive Control and Family Violence: A Serious Reality

One of the most difficult—but important—parts of this week’s episode was watching the way Jax continues to treat Brittany, even while he’s away in rehab. The nonstop messages. The guilt trips. The gossip to friends behind her back. The emotional manipulation. The weaponization of their marriage vows. This isn’t just high-conflict behaviour—it’s a pattern of coercive control.

Coercive control is a form of family violence that doesn’t always leave physical scars, but can be just as damaging. It’s about one person trying to dominate or control the other through psychological, emotional, and verbal tactics. We see it in relationships where one partner constantly undermines the other’s independence, creates confusion by shifting blame, and uses emotional manipulation to make the other feel guilty for setting boundaries or leaving.

Jax repeatedly shifts blame onto Brittany—for “forcing” him into rehab, for breaking up the marriage, for “taking his son.” He sends her dozens of hostile and guilt-ridden messages, pressures her through friends, and expects her to remain emotionally available to him while he’s doing the bare minimum to take accountability. This is classic coercive behavior—and it’s not okay.

In Saskatchewan, coercive control is legally recognized as family violence. It may not be visible like a bruise or broken bone, but courts are increasingly attuned to its harmful impacts, especially on parenting arrangements. Judges can—and do—consider emotional abuse and coercive patterns when deciding parenting time and decision-making responsibilities. If the behavior compromises the well-being of the child or creates an unsafe dynamic for the other parent, the court may restrict contact, impose conditions, or even order supervised parenting.

If you recognize this kind of behavior in your own relationship, please know: you are not overreacting, and you are not stuck. There are legal remedies available, including emergency protection orders, supervised parenting orders, and no-contact conditions. There are also local supports that can help you make a safe plan, whether you’re just beginning to question the dynamic or ready to take action.

The bottom line? Just because someone is seeking help or going through their own struggles doesn’t mean they get a free pass to treat you poorly. You are allowed to set boundaries. You are allowed to leave. You are allowed to put your well-being—and your child’s safety—first.

Final Thoughts: Lessons from Santa Barbara

This week’s episode might have been set against a stunning coastal backdrop, but the underlying themes—conflict, fear, healing, and hope—are all too real for people going through separation and family restructuring.

Whether it’s managing communication with a high-conflict ex, navigating new relationships, or starting over in the face of stress and trauma, one thing is clear: you deserve support, boundaries, and peace.

Tune in next week for more lessons from The Valley, and if you’re going through something similar—know that you’re not alone. There’s help, there are legal options, and there’s always a path forward.

Disclaimer: these posts are intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to provide legal advice. If you need legal advice, PLEASE consult a lawyer! Even better, book with us 🙂

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“The Valley”: Rage Texts, New Relationships, and Finding Peace in Family Transitions

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