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Bridging the Divide: How Mediation Creates Space for Resolution – A Conversation with Demi Peters

We are incredibly fortunate to have partnered with Demi Peters on this blog post!

Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution method in which a neutral third party (the mediator) helps facilitate a conversation between conflicting parties. Mediators do not make decisions but provide a channel for parties to communicate more effectively and come up with a resolution on their own.

Mediation is a legal requirement in several provinces but is still largely underutilized in family matters. At Evolve Law, our goal is to spread awareness about alternatives to litigation so potential clients can be informed about all the options available for resolving their issues.

In this blog, we’ve teamed up with Demi Peters, Q. Med and Recognized Family Mediator and administrator of CommonSense Mediation Academy to learn more about mediation. In this Q&A-style spotlight, Demi shares her story, demystifies the mediation process, and offers advice to families seeking peace.

Why Mediation? A Personal Perspective

Q: What motivated you to become a mediator?

Demi: “I was fortunate enough to be working in the legal field prior to obtaining mediation training. Because of the “insider view”, I could see the need and benefit of mediation services to assist clients in reaching sustainable and mutually satisfactory agreements as a part of the legal process or prior to engaging in the legal process. Either way you slice it, mediation ends up saving clients time and money, even if they don’t reach an agreement in mediation, they often learn more about the situation and go into any other process better informed and empowered.”

Q: What’s the most rewarding part about mediating?

Demi: “Facilitating dialogue between people who have damaged trust and communication is the most rewarding and my favourite part about mediation. I recently had folks who needed to talk to each other, but because of the circumstances, had not been able to have frank discussions. Mediation gave them the opportunity to have candid conversations within the freedom of a without prejudice and confidential process, and helped them move toward developing plans for future communication that will be functional for all parties involved.”

What Is Family Mediation, Really?

Q: How would you describe family mediation to someone unfamiliar with it?

Demi: “Family mediation is an opportunity to sort matters out between the people who have the most information about the system at work. Though family mediation often lives within the legal framework of family law, it can be more flexible and dynamic and parties can discuss and come to agreements about things that a court cannot or will not order. For example, in family mediation, parties might be able to come up with creative options about what happens with the family pets in the separation and divorce, whereas a court process will be limited and the court predominantly views pets as property and cannot and will not consider the emotional and relational needs people have regarding their pets in the separation and divorce process.”

Is Mediation Right for You? Addressing Common Doubts

Q: What would you say to someone who’s unsure about mediation?

Demi: “If someone is unsure about mediation, I encourage them to chat with the mediator they are considering working with about their process. Mediators often have specific processes that they follow, so no two mediators will run the mediation process exactly the same. People will be able to discuss their needs with the mediator and the mediator will be better able to tell them if the services needed will be satisfied through the mediation process. I also encourage people to research mediation and other processes to learn about the landscape. When people chat with me about being unsure about the mediation process, I tell them it is a great place to start because it is confidential and without prejudice, meaning that they can be creative with options for resolution without having them set in stone too soon without carefully considering all options. I also encourage them that they can consult with a lawyer throughout the process to ensure that anything they are considering is within the legal framework and will be suitable for them moving forward. If someone has safety concerns or other concerns, I can custom design the mediation process to align with a safety plan that will be suitable for the parties involved.”

Getting Ready for Mediation: Practical Prep Tips

Q: How do you want clients to prepare for a mediation session?

Demi: “In my intake meeting, I often provide clients with the Our Family in Two Homes workbook and ask that they do the first 13 pages and the value sorting exercise before the joint session. This workbook helps people think about what is most important to them and hunch at what might be important to the other side. I also encourage parties to think about their ideal outcome, an outcome they could live with, and their worst case scenario. I let them know that the mediation process focuses on creativity, and it works best if they are open minded and flexible in coming to the joint mediation session. If clients have specific concerns, I like to provide the clients with further negotiation coaching or resources that can help them have the most productive mediation process possible for the unique situation.”

Q: If you could tell potential clients anything, what would it be?

Demi: “Mediation is only as effective as the parties involved. Come with an open mind and flexible thinking. Even if there is damaged trust and communication between the parties, mediation can be restorative and productive if the parties take the opportunity to engage in the process fully with the mind to try to resolve things, instead of just ticking off a checkbox on the road to litigation.”

Busting Mediation Myths

Q: What are some common myths or misconceptions you’ve encountered about mediation?

Demi: “Some myths and misconceptions I often hear from people about mediation include that mediators can provide decisions or legal advice. Even if a mediator is a lawyer, in the mediation process, that lawyer mediator cannot provide legal advice to the parties involved. Some mediators are also arbitrators, and just like with lawyer mediators, arbitrator mediators cannot provide decisions when they are acting as a mediator. There are mediation/arbitration hybrid processes, however, from the start of the process the parties must be in agreement about if the service provider is providing mediation and arbitration services, or if they are solely providing mediation services. Another myth or misconception I hear is that mediation simply won’t work because of the specifics of the disagreement. Mediation may not work, however, there’s no way to know for sure if it will or won’t work until it is tried. I’ve had files I thought for sure wouldn’t come to an agreement in mediation, and did, and I’ve had other files that I thought would come to an agreement in mediation, and definitely didn’t, so it’s very unpredictable and trying it out is a fast and inexpensive way to try to resolve things before escalating it to a more time intensive and expensive process, such as litigation.”

Choosing the Right Mediator for You

Q: What should someone look for when choosing a mediator?

Demi: “When someone is looking for a mediator, it helps to read reviews, ask people they trust who they would recommend, and to ensure the mediator has the appropriate level of training and experience to facilitate the process as effectively as possible. The ADRSK portal has mediator profiles for folks to check out when they are considering hiring a mediator and people can also find mediators to consult with from the Saskatchewan Government’s Recognized Family Mediator list.”

For the Hesitant: Advice from the Heart

Q: Do you have any advice for families who are considering mediation but are unsure about taking the first step?

Demi: “My advice for folks who are considering family mediation and are unsure about taking the first step is to take some alone time to reflect about what is important about the dispute and what is important about the outcome. When people think about their future self and how the story of their dispute plays out it can help them be more flexible and creative in their thinking and further encourage them about the benefit of attempting to resolve the issues between themselves in a way that can optimize the success of their future selves and their family overall. If their option is to try mediation or try an adversarial alternative, and their future self’s priority is having harmony and peace, they may want to try out mediation first so they can support their goal of harmony and peace, because beginning with an adversarial option will limit their opportunity to achieve a harmonious and peaceful resolution.”

What Lawyers Can Do to Support Better Mediation Outcomes

Q: What’s something you wish lawyers did to better prepare clients for mediation?

Demi: “Lawyers can help prepare their clients for mediation by letting them know this is an opportunity to resolve the dispute in a timely and cost-effective method. Lawyers can help coach their clients in negotiation skills and to give them pertinent information about their legal rights and obligations. This can help clients feel empowered and ready to negotiate in the mediation process and result in more agreements being reached in mediation instead of mediation just being a stepping stone on the road to litigation.”

A More Peaceful Path Is Possible!

Family mediation is about more than resolving disputes—it’s about restoring communication, rebuilding trust, and giving people the tools to move forward with clarity and dignity. Whether you’re navigating a separation, co-parenting challenge, or other complex family dynamic, mediation offers a confidential and cost-effective path to resolution that empowers you to make informed decisions for your future.

If you’re feeling unsure about mediation, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Every situation is unique, and a conversation with a mediator like Demi can help you explore whether it’s the right step for your situation.

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Bridging the Divide: How Mediation Creates Space for Resolution – A Conversation with Demi Peters

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