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The Valley, Episode 10: Patterns Over Promises: What TV Teaches Us About Coercive Control

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This week on The Valley, we watched Jax return from rehab and—spoiler alert—he’s clearly not a changed man. It didn’t take long for the red flags to start flying, and unfortunately, they seem even more vivid than before. From outdated gender roles to coercive control, this episode was a masterclass in what not to do when navigating family transition. 

Let’s break it down, because there’s a lot here—especially for anyone navigating separation, co-parenting, or concerns about controlling behaviour. 

Jax is Back... and Still Missing the Point

Fresh out of rehab, Jax jumps right back into his pattern of blaming everyone but himself. He says he needs people to “hold him accountable,” but without actually acknowledging what he’s done wrong. There’s a difference between asking for support and shifting responsibility onto others so you can avoid facing the consequences of your own actions. 

Recovery requires humility, self-reflection, and accountability. Jax is missing all three. What he’s doing instead is attempting to outsource the emotional and behavioural work—something that will never yield true change. 

“As a Woman”—No, Just No

Early in the episode, we’re treated to a perfect example of how not to speak to your co-parent. Upon returning home from rehab, Jax tells Brittany that “as a woman, she doesn’t need a five-bedroom house.” He suggests she should “get something more manageable,” like a three-bedroom instead. 

Let’s pause here. 

First: never, under any circumstances, start a sentence with “as a woman,” especially if your next thought is to tell someone what they do or do not need. It’s patronizing, dismissive, and rooted in outdated gender stereotypes that have no place in any conversation—let alone one about post-separation housing and parenting. 

Second: from a legal standpoint, Jax doesn’t get to dictate anything about the house just because he doesn’t think Brittany “needs” it. In Saskatchewan, both spouses are equally entitled to the family home. It doesn’t matter who’s on title or who earns more. If Brittany wants to stay in the home and is able to afford it—whether by buying out Jax’s interest or offsetting it with other property—she typically has the first right of refusal. That means she gets the first shot at staying, not him. 

There’s no legal rule that says a “single woman” needs fewer bedrooms. The law isn’t interested in Jax’s outdated views. It’s interested in fairness, financial capacity, and the well-being of the child—especially if Cruz has been living primarily in that home. 

So no, Jax doesn’t get to shame Brittany into moving just because he thinks the house is too big for her. What Brittany needs is peace, not paternalistic commentary. 

Boundaries with New Partners and Kids

Michelle once again talks about how close her daughter Isabella has become with Michelle’s new partner, Aaron. From a relational perspective, it’s heartwarming. From a legal and parenting perspective, it’s also a moment to revisit a recurring issue: maintaining appropriate boundaries between your child and your new partner. 

It’s perfectly okay for new partners to have a bond with your child. But problems arise when lines start to blur or a child starts to see a new partner as a parental replacement—especially if things are still fresh, raw, or high-conflict with your ex. 

Here are some key reminders: 

  • Stability first: It’s generally wise to wait until your new relationship is stable—emotionally and practically—before introducing your child. Rushing into a new dynamic too soon can confuse your child and strain your co-parenting relationship. 
  • Clarity of roles: Your new partner is not “Mom” or “Dad.” The most respectful and healthy approach is to define them as a “bonus” adult in the child’s life—not a substitute parent. That distinction helps protect your child’s sense of security and maintains the integrity of their bond with both parents. 
  • Consistency across households: If you want your co-parent to take a measured approach with new partners, you have to do the same. Hypocrisy, even unintentional, can lead to major breakdowns in communication and trust. 
  • Check in with your child: Kids are perceptive. Make sure they feel safe, secure, and not caught in the middle of adult changes. If they start using language like “I have two mommies” or “Aaron is my new dad,” it’s time to gently reset expectations and reestablish clear boundaries. 

New relationships can be beautiful, but they should be built around the child’s well-being—not used as leverage or escape from a previous one. 

 

Jax’s Priorities and the Party Problem

Jax’s post-rehab to-do list apparently includes doing just about everything except seeing his child. We get a montage of him running errands, catching up with friends, and—of course—showing up at a party before spending any time with Cruz. 

If you want to be a present parent, you have to act like one. This means showing up physically and emotionally, prioritizing your child’s needs, and rebuilding trust through consistent actions—not just words. 

Jax showing up at the party, after everything that’s happened, is also wildly inconsiderate. It’s inconsiderate to Brittany, who has asked for space. It’s inconsiderate to the group, who now has to navigate this uncomfortable dynamic. And most of all, it’s inconsiderate to Cruz, whose father seems to care more about optics than actual parenting. 

Two Sides to Every Story: Michelle and Jesse

One of the more complex and emotional moments this week comes when Michelle shares that her mother is very ill. Understandably, she wants their daughter Isabella to spend some time with her grandmother before her health declines further. Michelle’s version of events is that she asked Jesse for this and he said no. 

But Jesse gives a different explanation: he wasn’t opposed to the visit entirely, he just wanted to have a conversation with Isabella about mortality first so that she would be prepared emotionally. 

This is a textbook family law situation. 

It’s not that either parent is “lying.” What we’re seeing is how emotional filters, fear, and past resentment shape how people hear and interpret each other’s words. Michelle hears refusal. Jesse sees a delay motivated by what he believes is protection. 

This is why communication breakdowns are so common in co-parenting dynamics. Two people can be in the same conversation and walk away with completely different impressions of what was said and why. 

The takeaway? There are almost always two sides to every story—and if you’re navigating a high-conflict co-parenting relationship, it helps to keep that in mind. Misunderstandings are inevitable, but they don’t have to derail everything. A little grace, a lot of clarity, and sometimes third-party assistance (like a parenting coordinator or mediator) can help everyone get back on the same page. 

Coercive Control and Ongoing Family Violence

Back to Jax (ugh), who continues to minimize his behaviour—even after being confronted about spying on Brittany through home security cameras. Instead of showing remorse, he says it matter-of-factly, like it’s no big deal. 

This is textbook coercive control. 

He still doesn’t understand that his actions are abusive. He still blames Brittany for “taking his son away,” rather than accepting that his own behaviour is what’s making parenting time impossible. 

In Saskatchewan—and across Canada—courts are increasingly aware of coercive control and are taking it seriously when making parenting decisions. Jax’s refusal to log out of the security system or return the house key unless Brittany “lets him” see Cruz is a clear example of using access to manipulate and control. 

If he does not completely change his behaviour and attitude, there is no judge in the world who would grant him meaningful, unsupervised parenting time. 

You don’t need to serve your ex on-camera (though Brittany’s move there was… iconic), but you do need to advocate for yourself. And that starts by seeking legal advice early, even if you’re not sure you want to go to court. 

Jax Gets Served—and Proves the Point

After all of Jax’s manipulative behaviour—the spying, the emotional abuse, the lack of accountability—we reach a moment of karmic clarity: Brittany has him served with divorce papers. And in true Valley fashion, it happens on camera. 

His initial reaction? Not devastation over the end of his marriage or concern for his son. No, he’s mostly upset that the tabloids found out. 

This is telling. Jax seems more preoccupied with public perception than private accountability. That’s not surprising, but it is incredibly disheartening. Even now, he doesn’t seem to grasp the seriousness of what Brittany has gone through—or how his actions have impacted their child. 

Watching Brittany finally take this step is empowering. She has dealt with surveillance, manipulation, financial fallout, and emotional exhaustion. Serving Jax is a firm line in the sand. It says: “I’m done accepting this behaviour, and I’m moving forward.” 

It’s a powerful reminder for anyone in a similar situation. You don’t need to wait for your co-parent to change. You can take steps to protect yourself and your children, even if your ex never takes accountability. Sometimes, taking legal action isn’t about revenge—it’s about peace. 

And sometimes, it’s the only thing that gets your ex’s attention. 

Final Thoughts: Patterns > Promises

Jax says he wants to be better. He says he wants to see his son. But what matters is what he does, not what he says. And so far, we’re not seeing change. We’re seeing control, manipulation, and performative accountability. 

Brittany deserves peace. Cruz deserves safety. And anyone watching this show while going through something similar deserves to know that they’re not alone—and they have options. 

If you’re navigating a difficult separation or co-parenting relationship, there’s help out there. You don’t have to tolerate control, you don’t have to fix someone else’s mess, and you can move forward. 

You’ve got this—and we’re here if you need support. 

Disclaimer: these posts are intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to provide legal advice. If you need legal advice, PLEASE consult a lawyer! Even better, book with us 🙂

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The Valley, Episode 10: Patterns Over Promises: What TV Teaches Us About Coercive Control

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